Everybody tells you that you cannot become successful without putting in the hard work. But was is this hard work that is required of us? Does this mean that we must put in long hours and keep pushing and pulling until we are there? And what is the personal cost? Do we now have to give up sleep, family time and only work? Do we reach the top, while leaving every body who is important to us, behind?
The answer to this question depends on how you are going to do the hard work. You can do it as described above in a physical way, or you can do the hard work in a non-physical way.
For many February is supposed to be the month of love, yet why does love hurts for so many?
Did you know that 1 out 3 women experience some form of abuse?
For men this statistic is 1 out of 8.
This means that of the adults in South Africa at least 10,000,000 people experience some form abuse. And how many children experience abuse? How many are bullied at home or at school?
We seem to have no control over what is happening in our lives. Rape, murder, abuse, crimes, accidents, and more, are the order of the day. How can we be in charge of our life, in this crazy world? \
The first step we need to take is to accept that we have co-created everything in our lives.
We attract what happens in our lives. Does this mean that it is our fault that we got raped, abused or something else? It is not about who’s fault it is. It is about accepting it happened and taking responsibility how we respond and doing what we can to prevent it in the future. We are not a complete victim.
According to the Law of Attraction, we attract everything into our lives and especially through our emotions. Research has proven that criminals don’t choose their victims randomly. What we radiate affects how people respond to us. The problem is that what we radiate is linked our subconscious beliefs and feelings and this cannot be controlled consciously. It is important that we change how we feel.
If we want to be in charge of our life in this crazy world, it is important that we learn how to work with the law of attraction. There are only four things we have to do:
e ear of what we want for our lives. (If we don’t know the details, we can be clear on how we want to feel. It is about having an intention of what we want for our lives..
Connect with that intention (preferably) daily.
Ensure that you are happy. E.g. If we feel angry, instead of letting ourselves run with that anger, we actively look for ways to feel better. We might need to get help to understand our anger, we probably need to do forgiveness work and more. On my web site are some great videos on the forgiveness process called Ho’oponopono. Go and watch them and APPLY IT.
Do things you enjoy. Take inspired action. We will get ideas of what we can do next. Inspired action is energising. When we get this idea, go and do it. These things make us feel energised. Let’s stop doing things that we dread. Read my blog on how to refuse doing jobs you dislike and still get the job done!.
You will also learn great tools to take charge of your life in this crazy world with our From Victim to Master course!
In Conclusion
The more we take responsibility for everything that happens in our life, the more we are in charge. Apply the four points mentioned above and life will change, guaranteed.
I am speaking out of experience.
Many of us feel unsafe in South Africa with the violence and destruction that is taking place. What can we do about it? We can start by realising that everything is created twice. First in the mind and then in the physical. Everything that is in our life, we have co-created this. This includes the good, the bad and the ugly. As soon as we take responsibility for everything that is in our life, including the bad and the ugly, we claim our power back and we can do something about it. This is not about who is to blame. It is about who is going to be the solution! Let me share a story with you of something that happened a number of years ago.
I had watched the DVD the movie The Secret. It explained that we attract what we think about. With our thoughts and the emotions triggered by those thoughts, we start attracting (ask for) new experiences. The problem is that we often don’t understand what is happening, because we had forgotten what we asked for. That night the fence-alarm went off at about three ‘o clock in the morning. I knew something was wrong. Someone had entered the garden through the electric fence. They had first broken through my pre-fab wall and set the alarm off, because one of the wires broke. They were gone. Because I had watched the Secret the night before, I asked myself “W did I attract this attempted break in?” Who in their right mind would do that? Here are a few reasons I discovered:
I had been unhappy to leave the dog alone, while we are on holiday and only have somebody to come in and feed her. Now that this had happened my husband suggested that we look for somebody to house-sit for us.
I have been nagging my children to put their valuables away, like a camera and play station, but I was ignored. Now they realise the importance of it all.
The very next day, I miraculously I found some wall panels in somebody’s garden that I could use. I had the strong urge to paint on the wall on the outside, “Jesus Loves You!” That is something I would not normally do, because I respect people have different beliefs. But the urge was so strong, and it made sense to me. I now fully understood how I had attracted the attempted break in. By acting on the points above, I trust/hope I don’t have to attract it again.
On Sunday morning, I was in a small nature reserve and I decided to go for a little walk on my own. I saw three hares, one after the other. The American Indians believe that if an animal crosses your path they have a message, so I was going to look that up after I would get home later that day.
I said to myself “It would be nice to seem bigger animals.” I decided to veer of the main path, and climb a rocky hill. On top I saw a herd of Impala. They quickly ran away. It was a beautiful sight to see them run and jump through and over the bushes. Then I said “It would be nice to see some animals up close and they don’t run away. Wouldn’t it be nice if they would even come to me?” I kept on walking and then I nearly bumped into a herd of buffalo. These can be very dangerous. I was scared. There was no tree to climb, only thick thorny bushes.. All I could do was walk away calmly.
They followed me for a short while. I kept on walking and when I looked back to my relief, I saw they had stopped following me. I continued on my journey, walking onto an open grass land. All of a sudden I heard the thundering of hooves. I quickly spun around. To my horror I saw the thirteen buffalo running straight at me. I realised I had to face them. I started praying out loud, asking for Divine protection. The buffalo stopped less than two meters away from me. I kept on talking calmly to them, while my legs were shaking uncontrollably. I talked to them about my children and told them that I want to see again. I asked them if knew the way to the lodge were I was staying. The big bull started coming even closer, but again through a Divine prayer he stopped immediately. The idea of feeling his snotty nose up against my arm was not inviting. A juvenile came up to half a meter from me, but he didn’t look threatening. Then they walked away.
After I stopped trembling, I walked in the opposite direction of the buffalo, in search of the lodge. I couldn’t see it anywhere. Then I remembered that I had asked the buffalo if they knew the way to the lodge. I turned around and started following them. Within in two minutes I could see the lodge. I thanked them and ran to the lodge.
When I arrived back home later today I looked up the meaning of rabbit, as it was closest to hare . It said “Don’t be afraid” This is now a few days after the attempted burglary. Then I looked up Deer, it said “Do things the gentle way”. So I don’t have to go and arm myself to the teeth. Then my husband said “What about Buffalo?” Their message was … “Rely on the power of prayer!”
In Conclusion – How can we keep ourselves safe? Be aware of what you ask for, consciously and subconsciously (through your fears) Stay calm when faced with a dangerous situation so that you can Ask for Divine protection and make it a habit, so it comes naturally when you are in danger.Questions for you Do you think you are responsible for everything that comes in to your life? If not, what do you do to keep safe?
How easily do we feel sh1t, because our peace is disturbed by the painful comments and/or actions of others? And what do we do with this pain? Brené Brown says “We are better at creating pain for others than dealing with our own pain.” Hurt is contagious, because when we hurt we often want to lash out at others,. And so we create a chain reaction of pain and disturbing peace for ourselves and others. What can we do to create peace instead of sh1t?
Why do we experience these comments and actions as painful? Because they somehow pushed our [Old Hurt] buttons. If we can identify and the remove the buttons that were pushed, we can keep our peace and stop the chain of pain.
The other day I received negative feedback about my behaviour. Some points were valid, although they were some small issues, but others were a total misinterpretation of my actions. As Wayne Dyer used to say, “What other people think of us, is none of our business.” It is impossible to be true to ourselves and at the same time keep other people happy all the time. Even if we do our best to keep them happy, we have no control over how they interpret our behaviour. All we can do is act with integrity and work with our buttons that are pushed by others.. We can do our best not to harm people, but we cannot guarantee we will not hurt others.
After receiving the negative feedback, I was hurt. My button was pushed. It was time for some introspection, so that I could identify that button and remove it. It was pushed was the criticism button. Our buttons most often have to do with how we treat ourselves and it made me aware of how critical I can be of myself. I have the tendency of comparing myself with others and falling short. My button was pushed because I was told that I had fallen short and I believed it. That made it painful.
So I asked myself “How do I want to be treated by others?” I want to be accepted as I am. And now I am focusing on that. If I now see that others have great qualities that I don’t have, then I celebrate our differences. I am the way I am and that is ok. This doesn’t give me an excuse to be rude and horrible to others. But it does give me the freedom to be reserved when I feel like it, while other people are more outgoing, even it means that people think I am unfriendly.
We live in a society that loves judging people. When people are hurting themselves, they are more critical of others. They might even like to pull others down, in order to feel better about themselves. They will start talking to others about those people they are judging.
If we want to build peaceful communities, it is important that we teach ourselves and others to be non-judgmental. We can do this with our reaction when people complain to us about others. When someone says “That person is so unfriendly”, then we can put that in perspective and possibly say “Maybe they are a little reserved” or if you know the person they are talking about and you mean it, you can say, “I know him to be quite friendly once you know him. Don’t read too much into it.”
If we dislike the person they are talking about, I know it is very tempting to join them in their gossip. We just need to remember that gossip creates rifts and breaks down communities. It also destroys our own happiness.
If we have the courage to challenge the complainant, we could say “What button is this person pushing for you? Would you like to identify and remove this button within yourself so that you can feel better?” If they say yes you can ask them “What do you read into this person’s behaviour? Where are you treating yourself in a similar way? How can you start treating yourself the way you want to be treated?”
When we look at life as a reflection of ourselves, we stop blaming and take responsibility for our own happiness. Every time we judge someone, we are giving our power away. The more we identify and remove the buttons within ourselves, the happier we become and the more we create a life filled with joy and happiness!
In conclusion
If we want peace instead of sh1t, it is important that we take responsibility for our buttons. When they get pushed it is for us to identify and remove them. This way we create future peace for ourselves. We also create peace for others, because it becomes easier to stop the pain chain.
What to do when you feel attacked?
There will be times in our lives where we feel attacked. Sometimes it is at work, but it also happens by loved ones. How can you deal with it and actually benefit from it? Let me share with you how I did this.
The first reaction I attended a meeting the other day, when I really felt attacked. My first reaction was to withdraw and have a pity party. Donna McCallum, teaches about how we have ego monsters who drive us. The first one to come out was Sally the Self-Pity monster. Poor me, “How could they attack me after all the hard work I had done?”
That then fueled Rigel the Righteous monster, who was telling me how right I was and how wrong they were. But this didn’t help me, because they only fueled my desire for revenge in some shape or form. Brené Brown always says that we are better in dishing pain out to others than dealing with our own pain. I also learnt from the Course in Miracles that when we attack someone else, we are actually also attacking ourselves. I realised that if I was going to give in to my desire to seek revenge, everybody would lose, myself included.
Having an honest look at myself
I started my recovery process by having an honest look at what I was accused of. Maybe they had a point. If they did, then it is for me to put my dented pride aside and change my ways. If they didn’t, I let it go. In this situation, Iunderstand why my actions could have been misinterpreted, even though the accusations were in my eyes not true. In future, I could do things differently so my intentions are less likely to be misinterpreted. That is a valuable lesson learnt. I realise that my focus and enthusiasm can easily be misinterpreted as being dominating and pushy.
Applying the Three Fingers Pointing Back
After licking my wounds it was time to apply my own teaching and favourite subject, “The three fingers pointing back.” What did I perceive as the attack? I was hurt because someone was criticising / accusing me of things I haven’t done. They also didn’t trust me and my intentions.
The key question is “Where do I do this to myself?” When I change the way I treat myself, I automatically also change the way I treat others. I am still too often critical of myself and I am not always clear myself on why I do things. From now on-wards, I am going to do my best to support myself more, even when I make mistakes. And before I do things I ask myself “Why do I want to do this?”, so that I am clear on my intentions. I am going to stop doing things out of obligation, I am only going to do something if I want to do it. This is going to give me quite some free time, which I can use to focus on what is important for me. Wonderful!
Why did I create this in my life?
I had one more question to answer “Why did I create this in my life?” When I take responsibility for everything that happens in my life, I take control. Today I was listening to an interview with John Assaraf. He was talking about how we have a mental ceiling on what we can achieve. This is partly inherited and partly created by our personal experiences. I had noticed that I have been stuck at a certain level for many years. I was stuck in my comfort zone. This incident just blew me right out of my comfort zone.
Maria Montessori’s quote came to mind.“When you are climbing up a ladder and a dog bites your ankle, what do you do? Stop to kick the dog or keep on climbing and move out of reach of that dog? I am choosing to go up the ladder and this will take me to new heights.
I am now actually grateful for the attack, because I am now going to break through my ceiling!
In conclusion
When we feel attacked it is very easy to let our ego take over and lash out at others. If you can curb that desire, you can find gold and tremendous growth in that whole situation.
Don’t stop to kick the dog, keep climbing up the ladder!
For many February is supposed to be the month of love, yet why does love hurts for so many?
We seem to have no control over what is happening in our lives. Rape, murder, abuse, crimes, accidents, and more, are the order of the day. How can we be in charge of our life, in this crazy world? \
g to the Law of Attraction, we attract everything into our lives and especially through our emotions. Research has proven that criminals don’t choose their victims randomly. What we radiate affects how people respond to us. The problem is that what we radiate is linked our subconscious beliefs and feelings and this cannot be controlled consciously. It is important that we change how we feel.
to understand our anger, we probably need to do forgiveness work and more. On my web site are some great videos on the forgiveness process called Ho’oponopono. Go and watch them and APPLY IT.
ny of us feel unsafe in South Africa with the violence and destruction that is taking place. What can we do about it? We can start by realising that everything is created twice. First in the mind and then in the physical. Everything that is in our life, we have co-created this. This includes the good, the bad and the ugly. As soon as we take responsibility for everything that is in our life, including the bad and the ugly, we claim our power back and we can do something about it. This is not about who is to blame. It is about who is going to be the solution! Let me share a story with you of something that happened a number of years ago.
I attended a meeting the other day, when I really felt attacked. My first reaction was to withdraw and have a pity party. Donna McCallum, teaches about how we have ego monsters who drive us. The first one to come out was Sally the Self-Pity monster. Poor me, “How could they attack me after all the hard work I had done?”
After licking my wounds it was time to apply my own teaching and favourite subject, “The three fingers pointing back.” What did I perceive as the attack? I was hurt because someone was criticising / accusing me of things I haven’t done. They also didn’t trust me and my intentions.
“When you are climbing up a ladder and a dog bites your ankle, what do you do? Stop to kick the dog or keep on climbing and move out of reach of that dog? I am choosing to go up the ladder and this will take me to new heights.