- Are you fed up with holding yourself back, because of your fear of rejection?
- Would you like to learn how to overcome this fear now?
- Would you like to experience a free coaching session with me?
Why is rejection so painful? “Rejection piggybacks on the pain pathways in the brain”. (According to A blog post in psychologytoday). Have you noticed how difficult it is to remember physical pain? Yes, we can remember the painful incident. But we can’t reconnect with the physical pain itself. It’s different with rejection. We can remember every devastating and scary detail from that incident. We can evoke the exact painful feelings we felt at the time. Many of us repeatedly relive that nightmare in great detail.
Book your 30-minute free exploration coaching session nowWe will do more to avoid pain, then to pursue pleasure. This means that we’ll put great effort in avoiding the pain of rejection. Many of us have experienced rejection when we were young. It’s possible that we have forgotten these incidents. But these memories left deep scars in our subconscious mind, and we’ll go out of our way to prevent this pain again.
Each situation we must deal with, is compared with our previous traumas. If a current situation reminds us of a painful memory, we’ll resist and avoid it. We freeze, run away or fight with those situations. And often we do not understand why..
Where does our fear of rejection come from?
Many of us experienced rejection when we were young. It could be an obvious incident or during an insignificant moment. Either way, it was very upsetting for us. That painful memory still colours each new experience we have today.
Let me share my story:
When I was a week old, I could not keep my food down. I was taken to hospital, away from my mother’s protective arms. I felt vulnerable when they put a tube down my nose to feed me. Did I scream? Probably. It was frightening to be alone in my hospital bed. I didn’t understand why my mother wasn’t there. My mother visited every day to bring mother’s milk. But she could not stay long, because she had four other children at home.
I misinterpreted that event as total abandonment and rejection. That emotional wound had a debilitating effect on many areas of life. Whenever I had to do something and I would smell the risk of rejection or abandonment, I would freeze. I was unable to motivate myself to do it at all. Whenever this happened, I felt like a stupid loser.
Can you relate to my story? What is your story? Can you recognise how you’re still affected by your story today?
Why does the fear or rejection holds us back?
Freezing when we fear possible rejection, is a crippling habit if we want to grow and develop. What can we do to overcome our fear of rejection? We need to heal the wound from the unresolved trauma. If we don’t, that trauma will poison current experiences, because we misinterpret them as a threat.
Realise that we store a memory from the perspective of the age we had when we experienced our trauma. The immature interpretation of an often “normal” life-event forms crippling, sabotaging beliefs. We store these beliefs in our subconscious, as our truths.
I am embarrassed to admit my fear of rejection. The idea of having to pick up the phone and talk to people about my own products and services, was terrifying. I would freeze and I was unable to pick up that phone. Talking about other people’s products was never an issue. How do you feel about having to phone people?
Book your 30-minute free exploration coaching session nowHow to break free from your fear of rejection
Let me share with you how I triumphed over my fear during a closed eye exercise. So that you can do the same.
- I reframed the traumatic incident. I imagined that I wasn’t alone in my little hospital bed. I had my guardian
angel with me. (You can choose a spiritual helper of your choice.) - I forgave all the parties involved.
- My mother for allowing the separation between her and myself.
- The medical personnel for tying me up and keeping me away from my mother.
- Myself for misinterpreting this event as abandonment/rejection.
- I imagined this emotional wound as a physical wound, and I watched it heal.
- I released the emotions stored in my body with a release process. (There are many techniques that people can use to release these emotions. You can experience my specialised Release Statement if you book your 30 min free Happy Ever After coaching introduction session. See below for more info.)
- I asked for Divine inspiration on how to deal with my fear of rejection, while phoning. I received an amazingly simple idea. I am to ask for Divine guidance while selecting the names of the people I am to phone. Phoning has become an exercise in trusting the Divine. Now I was ready to phone.
I have started to conquer my fear of rejection. Some of you have received a phone call from me already. I first close my eyes and ask for Divine guidance. Then open my filing cabinet and select a name that I feel attracted to. So far things are going well, and it has been much easier to tackle the challenging situation. Every person I have phoned so far has been a gem. It has been so wonderful to reconnect with my clients, who I hadn’t been in contact with for ages.
In conclusion
How can you break free from your fear of rejection now?
- Find your memory where you experienced rejection. Forgive all parties involved, including yourself.
- Ask for Divine Guidance on how to deal with your fear of rejection in your current situation. And use this idea the next time you are facing that challenge. This is how you will feel safe and supported.
Free 30-Minute Introduction Coaching for Limited Time Only!
Are you fed-up with feeling stuck (in a certain area) because you freeze or resist a situation? Would you like to conquer those situations and feel triumphant? I can assist you with my eye-opening Happy Ever After coaching. For a limited time only, I am offering you a free 30-mintue introduction coaching session, on Zoom. You will get some ideas on how to replace your frustration with feeling empowered. Don’t miss out. Use the button below to book your 30-minute free introduction coaching session now!