February, is it really the month of love?

For many February is supposed to be the month of love, yet why does love hurts for so many?

Did you know that 1 out 3 women experience some form of abuse?
For men this statistic is 1 out of 8.

This means that of the adults in South Africa at least 10,000,000 people experience some form abuse. And how many children experience abuse? How many are bullied at home or at school?

How can we replace abuse with respect?

There are a few things we can start with:

1. Accept we have very little control over the behaviour of others.
2. To accept that if we want relationships to change, it is up to us.
3. Forgive ourselves for attracting an abusive relationship
4. To forgive ourselves for our role in this abusive relationship
5. Forgive the perpetrator

Pre-activities: Measuring our starting point

Before we start with this process, I would like to check how your body feels. Do you have any aches and pains? Are certain areas tense? Like your neck?

More Info – From Abuse to Respect

1. Accept we have very little control over the behaviour of others.

I know I am repeating myself when I say that everything is created twice, first in the mind, then in the physical. Knowing something is useless if we don’t apply that knowledge. We can apply this by creating respect from others by focusing on treating ourselves with utmost respect, especially when we are not so perfect. The more unconditional self-respect we have, the more others treat is with respect too.

2. Accept that if we want relationships to change, it is up to us.

How often does our pride get in the way? I also use to think “Why should I always be the one who works on my relationship?” The answer I received was “Because I am the one who is unhappy!”

We are made to believe that it takes two to tango and that is true. I have replaced this motto now with “It takes one to lead the tango!” This means that if I make some changes, the other party will automatically change too. When we are in a relationship, we push against each other. When I step aside and stop pushing, the other must stop pushing too, in order to prevent falling. So, whenever we are in a situation where we don’t like it how others treat us, let’s start by looking at ourselves and change the way we treat ourselves.

More Info – From Abuse to Respect

Use Promo Code valentine to get 10% discount in February

3. Forgive ourselves for attracting an abusive relationship

We stepped into this abusive relationship and we chose to stay in it for as long as we did. This can make us feel shameful and embarrassed. It happened, we cannot change it, even if we feel regret. We can start treating ourselves with respect, by forgive myself for the mistakes I have made, including stepping into this relationship. You could say to yourself “Even though I regret stepping into this relationship, I accept it happened. I cannot change it. And I forgive myself from the bottom of my heart.”  You can say this, or something that fits your situation more accurately. How do you feel after forgiving this person? How does your body feel?

4. Forgive ourselves for our role in this abusive relationship

A perpetrator can do nothing, unless there is someone there with them, they can abuse. The mere fact that we are there, is already one of the roles we play in that abusive relationship.

Did you know that we become physically addicted to the neuro-peptides that our emotions create? We know the expression that someone is an adrenaline junky. And that is true, they are addicted to the adrenaline rush. They will physically create experiences so that they can get their adrenaline fix. The same applies to the victims of abuse. They are often addicted to the emotions like fear, self-pity, worry, anxiety, resentment and more. That is what is familiar to them, so they will create scenarios that they can get their fix. (This is NOT about blaming who is responsible for the abuse. It is about finding solutions!) We can forgive ourselves by saying the following or something else that fits your situation better. “Even though I regret playing a role in this abuse, I accept I am part of it, because if I wasn’t there, it couldn’t happen. I accept that cannot change the past. And I forgive myself from the bottom of my heart.” How do you feel after forgiving this person? How does your body feel?

More Info – From Abuse to Respect

Use Promo Code valentine to get 10% discount in February

5. Forgive the perpetrator

“Holding grudges is like trying to kill somebody by drinking the poison myself” Caroline Myss.

Anger, resentment, bitterness, hatred, regret and other negative emotions are like poison to the body. In my practice I have seen how people can heal when they release these emotions by forgiving the perpetrator. What if the perpetrator’s role in our life was to teach us the importance of accepting and loving ourselves? When we forgive someone, we DO NOT have to let them back into our lives!  We can say to the perpetrator the following or something else that suits our situation better. “Even though I disapprove of how you have treated me in the past, I accept that it happened, I accept that cannot change the past. And I forgive you from the bottom of my heart.”  How do you feel after forgiving this person? How does your body feel?

Post Activities: Measuring the change

Before we start with this process, I would like to check how your body feels. Do you have any aches and pains? Are certain areas tense? Like your neck?

More Info – From Abuse to Respect

Use Promo Code valentine to get 10% discount in February

How to move forward from here?

If we want to change our relationships, we need to start by changing the way we think about ourselves and our lives. We have the amazing Abuse to Respect Apphirmations that can assist.

 

Testimonial

“I was in a verbal abusive relationship. I was at my wits end and I told Hanna I was going to leave my husband. She suggested that I listen to the Abuse to Respect Apphirmations, while we were sleeping. I played it twice and my husband heard it once. Shortly after that he said “I am going to stop fighting you.” After that he got a business coach and since then the verbal abuse has decreased by 60%. I had forgotten to play the Abuse to Respect Apphirmations more often, but I am definitely going to listen again so the abuse can disappear completely!” Anonymous

More Info – From Abuse to Respect

Use Promo Code valentine to get 10% discount in February

Do you want to know when we post our next blog? Then please subscribe to our newsletter.